God, I don’t understand people sometimes. They got lots of friends but easy to forget when new one comes. I don’t understand him, when he said I love you but disappear too soon. I don’t understand office that sometimes only becomes the place to get money. I don’t understand my self, when I love him but can’t say even a word. I don’t understand this world, that freedom now looked too open.Lots of things appeared in my mind and I don’t understand, a lots why questions came into sight but I don’t have the answer. Human… it’s too complex to be written.
Sit down on the beach's sand with silent ness waiting sun goes down, I remember you that used to spend a lots time with. . We so enjoyed the time. But now… you completely gone, another new one already comes. And I, I sit down on this beach's sand trying to remember everything that we done.
"hmhhhhhhh...." trying to throw all heavy things on my mind. Wind blows… sun slowly goes down in the west and has left orange color in the sky. A lots people come and go in our life. And silent ness... suddenly becomes a best friend to kill the time.
Sit down... still with nothing, i see sun changes to the moon and stars starting appear in the sky and I’m still here alone on the beach’s sand. No one accompany... no one around, just light of flight in the sky that sometimes blinking…red…black…red…black…red then dark.
I think about life means, is it family means of life? When you have great husband or wife then smart and funny kids and a house that you can called home, is it life? How if someone that decide to live alone, no husband or wife,no kids but she/he happy, is it call life too?.
Yeah life is just decision where you bring it to go. But if I can choose, I want a small family someday with someone that I really love and love me too, when we raise our kids far from town where we can sit down on beach’s sand and enjoy sun goes down. Or place when we can enjoy biking with fresh air and we can just stop to see the green lake and blue sky shadow on it. That is dream about my future life. When high heel sandal maybe become not too much important thing anymore,when any colors of bags will be easy to be forgot. When lipstick or blush on not much on red color because nature shines you. When I can make my body dirty without feel worry because I can see a lots color of flowers that will be shown 2 weeks after. When I can put my head on his shoulder and tell him how I much I love him when we sit down waiting sunset and feel world is just like our own.
(-IeRn-)
