2009-01-15

When I become 25

“You are so young dear, just try many things in your young age” they said. Yeap, that’s right… still so many future are waiting for me in the front, lots of things need to be done. “Time is pass so fast sweetheart, you need to start thinking about your future (read: family)” mom said. Yeap and she is right… time is ticking so fast. Without I realize…
I still remember 10 years back, when I was 15 years old. I was out from my parent house, continued study in the far. It was an Informatics school, funny… because I always want to be a doctor when I was kid and I ended up as an engineer. I cried in the first night staying there, knowing that mom would not take care of me anymore. It was hard time, when 1.000 rupiah still means something. When I needed to think 3 times to buy a book with 25.000 rupiah price. I studied hard, I had not much time to play with some friends but I think other students did the same in that school. I believe, will always there is a sacrifice before the winning.
So I passed my 3 years in that school with excellent score. I got the best score in that province. My name was on the newspaper that day and it made my mom cried. Don’t know because of what, proud maybe… or she never believed her little girl got those kinds of things.
Passed my school I got several opportunities, free to join one of great university in this country without any test and several companies asked me to join them. Well hard decision to choose.
I was 17 when I decided to accept the opportunity working in one of big company in this big city. I had no idea how the office environment was. I was looked like a small little girl, knowing nothing about life big game. The first 3 months, I had no idea what I should do in that company. My background was informatics and the management put me in the telecommunication department. So it was full of doubts was that the right decision to choose working in my so young age.
Day changed into another day, month changed into another month and everything got better. I studied again from zero about anything related with my job in this company.
Year later when I was 18, I continued my study. Again, it was tough time. Working during the day and study during the night…. Monday till Saturday…
I think when I was younger I was not fun person. I faced everything in my life seriously.
Till I met someone, he changed lots of my opinion about life. I think he will always be a part in history of my life. He showed me how huge this world. We traveled to several places in this world. Slowly I changed from serious person be a humorist person… from introvert be bit extrovert. He was my boy friend for 3 years till finally far distance between us throw our love away.
After 4 years I finished my study with excellent point, well I was proud of that because I realized it was so hard to get it. Sometimes I had to sleep so late because I needed to prepare my exam. And absolutely when I made the final report, it was the toughest time.
Unbelievable I wrote more than 400 pages on that report, I had no idea either what actually I wrote there.
I bought small house 2 yeas ago when I was 23 and I just moved there since last 3 months right after I broke up with a man that I call as my boy friend for several months. Living in the far and alone opened my eyes how the real life in this city is. Faced traffic jam in each single day, passed in supermarket to buy some fruits or vegetables then home and cooked my own meal.
I kept continue to write, talked with white blank Microsoft word about love, life and this world. I kept love books and read it from one chapter to another chapter to open my mind. I still fell in love with the music, even though always nervous for me to stand on the stage and sang in front of people but I kept sing in my morning time. I still did traveling to give me smile and the strong experience to help me make a deal with this life. I still enjoyed meeting people; they gave me fresh news and nice jokes accompanied by drinks, music or nice meal. I still interested with man… they could give me peace, happy, doubt, angry and any other un explanation multi color of feeling. I started to love painting when I realized it made me fell happy after long hours worked and I could see it hang nice on my house wall.
And I still watched movies because it gave me lots of inspirations in life to be an independent woman. A movie called The Lake House, it was my first inspiration that made me decided to move into that house and live alone in the far.
But now days… this city feels so suck… traffic jam, the flood, again traffic jam it makes me feel stuck up. I couldn’t find any interesting things anymore in this city. Yeah it was seven years I’ve been staying in here. Is it time to move out? Trying to get another opportunities in outside? I don’t know, lets time answer it.
Now when I become 25, lots of things that I want to get. Lots of plans hang in my head. Sit down on this beach sand and accompany by sound of wave not too far, I’m trying to write it one by one. Yeap… Lets start it girl… make this year as a strong background of your future. Good luck, you’ve got so much so far. Be a person that you always want to be even when you need to leave your comfort zone right now to get it... you’ll be there!

(IeRn – Thanks dears for your birthday wishes)