2007-06-25

Striptease Dancer (Mixed Grammar)

I do striptease, not for hobby but for money. Two small kids need to be taken care. Everybody looks at me like shit, but who cares because they can’t give me cash to eat.
Proposed to a company just made my money empty for stamps or papers. So I went to this club to search something that maybe I even can’t call it a job.I’m shy… I’m rude… but I still don’t want end up my life. Again because this two small kids need to be taken care.
They don’t know what exactly their mommy doing for money, but some of their friends said their mommy is a bitch.
“Mom, what is a bitch means?” 7 years old boy asked me. I looked at him, he is the one that can make me live till know, gives me a strong power to defeat what other people jerk talking about me. I gave him smile “That is rude word that you should not use anymore”. And he never ask again about that word.
12 a.m, in the job… Those mans waiting for me, they are just allowed to see. And here I’m show them my private body, again for money. 2 hours dance, 2 hours see those drunken people, 2 hours smell those cigarette smoke, still i have to show my naughty smile in my mouth.
2 a.m, walking home… I feel this shit now so heavy, 2 years after they found my husband dead body and I don’t have anything to support me. Sky night looks so clear, moon that sometimes cover by cloud, blinking stars are just like disco light but with symphony and this green trees now looks grey because of small light. I walk home alone. No one knows how heavy this load, no one knows how sick this heart, no one knows and no one knows. Because they just know I’m a striptease dancer, I’m a woman that shows my naked body to get money.
(-IeRn-)

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