2007-07-12

Sheila (Mixed Grammar)

My name is Sheila, everybody call me Shey just close to “shy” word that reflect me. Everybody said I’m still so young although now already 25. Don’t know, maybe it is because of my body that always small is like never grown up; my breast and any other part of my body are small. So for everything that I bought always use smallest size that they sale. I have medium height, 155 cm, I think its enough. Long hair and dark brown skin are part of mine. Along my age till now I always try to make this skin whiter but never got good result so far. Sun is my enemy because it make my skin darker but rain also my enemy because make my shoes dirty. God... I’m a complex woman.

My name is Sheila. I’m an erotic story writer, although everybody said my writing is not dirty, because it is erotic feeling and you can find love in those stories. But still they called me an erotic writer. You can find my first book in some small book store. They published it but it was just not bombing, so far they told me only 100 exemplars sold. It is ok; need time to learn how to be better. And I’m already happy.

Sheila… it is me. I’m 25, an erotic story writer and virgin. They…those people look at me cynic, they think I’m a bad woman because wrote those stories. But again, those stories are not dirty; those are a feeling that combined with erotic things. And see me… I wrote about those and I’m still virgin, believe me no need to try if you want to write something, sometimes imagination and inspiration is enough to figure what do you want type on your blank page.

Newspaper, 25th July 2000, new title: A dead woman body found in a hotel room. Her name is Sheila and she is me. I lied on that bed, naked and dead. He raped me then killed me. Sadism…
This man 35 years old, I knew him several months ago. He was so attractive and I attracted to him. We dated several times, I felt to him, to his beautiful eyes, to his inspiring smile that give me warm. He asked me to a hotel for dinner. I came but then he brought me to this room. Elegant…
He locked the room, and held my small body. I looked at him, God... I loved him. He opened my t-shirt and saw me naked. “Shey… come here…please do something is like that you wrote in your story, I read it all… God, you are so wild”. I shocked, his breath faster. “I don’t do this, I’m virgin, and I told you about that” I stopped him. “Oh Shit, come on…don’t act are like you still white”. He touched me. “Please, I’ll do anything for you because I love you but not this way” my tears dropped but his breath still faster, he grabbed me, he raped me… he hit me several times to make him more pleasant on final. I felt my blood dropped from my pain mouth. He hit me once again and I could hear his long moan from far a way.

I’m Sheila, 25, an erotic stories writer, not virgin anymore because of raped. I was dead. He left me when I was dying and naked dead in that cold elegant room.

I’m sheila, now finally I find my skin is not dark brown anymore because I was dead. I walk in this crawded street, scream to everybody to help me with this naked body but they are just like not hear me. One car come in to me, I scream but it is just pass away. My body is like shadow that can’t be touched.
Far a way walk, I see him… inside his car, park in the corner street. I can see tears in his face, he is crying after he left me dying. I close to him, sit down beside him inside the car. “Don’t sad because I’m dead” I still love him. He feel something, he look at me. I don’t know he see me or just see an empty air. “I’m sorry, I don’t mean it… please Shey forgive me” he crying still he look at me, but his eyes can’t reach mine. “Don’t sad because I’m dad” I close my face on him, now he feel me. “Go away Shey” panic…he drive his car… I see him from far when I move my hand and I make this wind throw his car to that ravine. “Don’t be sad because I’m dead… I just want you to accompany me and give me warm with your body”.

(-IeRn-)

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